The Donald Grabs a Bite Out of Alcatraz with Gator Run-in
Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly attempted offer somebits to a massive reptile. Witnesses report that Trump maybe got a little too close with the beast, leading website some whispering. The {entireaffair was captured on video, and pictures have rapidly gone viral online.
- It's unclear
- chose Alcatraz
- conspiracy theories abound that he waslooking for attention
Hot off the Press: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!
A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President Bigly Don has confronted a pack of highly venomous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.
Local reporters claim to have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a vibrating toothbrush. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from the White House.
Stay tuned for more updates on this completely unexpected event!
Trump's Wild Tour of Alcatraz
Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Trump is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, wearing a MAGA hat the whole time. He's even said he will put in a gold-plated bidet during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!
- Will Trump be able to handle the cold?/Will Alcatraz stand up to Trump?/Can anyone stop Trump?
- Stay tuned for updates on this crazy story!/Follow us for all the latest Trump news!/Don't miss out on this wild ride!
Crocodile Corrections? Absolutely, Claims President Trump
Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' ridiculous. They got these alligators runnin' amok. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em wander around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta crack down of these creatures. That's why I say we gotta build a croc correction facility - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' care of problems.
- Make America Great Again !
The Don's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!
This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The President himself is hitting the swamps on a wild maniacal rampage. That's right, we're talking about Trumphunting for gators. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and expecting a challenge. Will he make a deal with the biggest gator in the swamp? Only time will tell!
Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators
Folks, you are totally gonna believe this! The Donald himself, previous Prez Trump, has decided to embark on a wild adventure. He's trading his golf clubs for some serious courage and is going into a cage full of hungry alligators! Word on the street that this whole thing was his idea.
What could ever be more wild? Only time will reveal.